¡Joder! An expert guide to correctly using the F-word in Spanish

As in many other languages, there’s an art to swearing in Spanish. Here we discuss the different ways you can properly use the Spanish versions of the F-word and their derivative uses and how they compare to English.
Disclaimer: For the sake of not angering global English-language search engines, this article may include a f*cktonne of f*cks with an asterisk, but we’re sure you’ll get the drift.
Spanish doesn’t have the versatile expletive equivalent of the F-word in English.
By this we mean that depending on whether you’re referring to having sex, getting angry about something or emphasizing a word by adding a ‘f*cking’ as an adjective in front of it, you’ll use different swear words in Castilian Spanish.
The two main translations of the verb ‘to f*ck’ are joder and follar in Spanish.
As for the adjective or adverb ‘f*cking’ you can either use jodido/a or puto/a, the latter also being the word for ‘whore’ in Spanish.
And when it comes to a translation of the noun ‘f*ck’ in terms of sexual intercourse, the most common use is un polvo.
There are also expressions which in English include the F-word but in Spanish they opt instead to use mierda (shit), coño (the Spanish C-word but less shocking), carajo (similar to damn), cojones (testicles) or cagar (to poo) .
In order to help you understand how to properly get your (pardon our French) f*cking message across in Spanish, we’ll now list examples of English uses of the F-word with their correct translation into Castilian Spanish.
One last thing before we proceed. Spaniards of all ages are renowned for swearing more often than many of their European counterparts. While it’s true that expletives are not as frowned upon as in other societies, it doesn’t mean you should be effing and blinding all the time (only when the situation really requires it and in the right social context).
READ ALSO: How to ‘swear’ politely in Spanish
Anger
F*ck off! - ¡Vete a la mierda! or ¡Vete a tomar por culo!
F*ck you! - ¡Qué te den por el culo! or ¡Qué te folle un pez!
Shut the f*ck up! - ¡Cállate la puta boca!
Dismissal
I don’t give a f*ck! - ¡Me importa una mierda! or ¿Y a mi qué coño me importa?
F*ck it! - ¡A la mierda!
No f*cking chance - Ni de coña
Surprise
What the f*ck?! - ¿Qué coño? or ¿Qué putas? or ¿Qué carajo? or ¿Qué cojones?
F*ck me! Are you kidding? - ¡No jodas! ¿Estás de broma?
Fucking hell! - ¡Jooodeerrr!
Questioning
Who the f*ck are you? - ¿Quién coño/carajo/cojones eres?
What the f*ck do you want? - ¿Qué coño quieres?
Where the fuck are you? ¿Dónde coño estás?
Bad situations
We’re f*cked! - ¡Estamos jodidos/as!
We f*cked up - La cagamos
F*ck! - ¡Joder! or ¡Mierda!
It’s really f*cked up - Es una puta mierda
F*ck my life - Puta mierda de vida

If you want to tell someone to stop f*cking around in Spanish, you say 'deja de joder la marrana'. Photo: Tycho Atsma/Unsplash
Orders
Quit f*cking around and wasting time - Deja de joder la marrana or Deja de hacer el gilipollas
¡Don’t f*ck with me! - ¡No me toques los cojones!
Sex
¿Shall we f*ck? - ¿Follamos?
Fancy a f*ck? ¿Quieres echar un polvo?
Emphasis
He talks too f*cking much - Habla jodidamente demasiado
She’s f*cking beautiful - Es jodidamente hermosa
A f*cktonne of gente - Un puto huevo de gente
Tired as f*ck - Cansado de la hostia or Cansado de cojones
It’s f*cking great - Es la puta hostia
Celebration
You’re the f*cking man - Eres el puto amo
F*ck yeah! - ¡Sí, joder!
We f*cking won! - ¡Hemos ganado, joder!
It's f*cking great! - ¡Es la puta hostia!
Insults
What an absolute f*cker - ¡Qué cabrón! or ¡Qué hijoputa!
What’s up, motherf*cker? - ¡Qué pasa, hijoputa!
John is a f*ckwit - John es un puto imbécil
F*cking idiot - Puto/a idiota or Jodido/a idiota
Comments
See Also
Disclaimer: For the sake of not angering global English-language search engines, this article may include a f*cktonne of f*cks with an asterisk, but we’re sure you’ll get the drift.
Spanish doesn’t have the versatile expletive equivalent of the F-word in English.
By this we mean that depending on whether you’re referring to having sex, getting angry about something or emphasizing a word by adding a ‘f*cking’ as an adjective in front of it, you’ll use different swear words in Castilian Spanish.
The two main translations of the verb ‘to f*ck’ are joder and follar in Spanish.
As for the adjective or adverb ‘f*cking’ you can either use jodido/a or puto/a, the latter also being the word for ‘whore’ in Spanish.
And when it comes to a translation of the noun ‘f*ck’ in terms of sexual intercourse, the most common use is un polvo.
There are also expressions which in English include the F-word but in Spanish they opt instead to use mierda (shit), coño (the Spanish C-word but less shocking), carajo (similar to damn), cojones (testicles) or cagar (to poo) .
In order to help you understand how to properly get your (pardon our French) f*cking message across in Spanish, we’ll now list examples of English uses of the F-word with their correct translation into Castilian Spanish.
One last thing before we proceed. Spaniards of all ages are renowned for swearing more often than many of their European counterparts. While it’s true that expletives are not as frowned upon as in other societies, it doesn’t mean you should be effing and blinding all the time (only when the situation really requires it and in the right social context).
READ ALSO: How to ‘swear’ politely in Spanish
Anger
F*ck off! - ¡Vete a la mierda! or ¡Vete a tomar por culo!
F*ck you! - ¡Qué te den por el culo! or ¡Qué te folle un pez!
Shut the f*ck up! - ¡Cállate la puta boca!
Dismissal
I don’t give a f*ck! - ¡Me importa una mierda! or ¿Y a mi qué coño me importa?
F*ck it! - ¡A la mierda!
No f*cking chance - Ni de coña
Surprise
What the f*ck?! - ¿Qué coño? or ¿Qué putas? or ¿Qué carajo? or ¿Qué cojones?
F*ck me! Are you kidding? - ¡No jodas! ¿Estás de broma?
Fucking hell! - ¡Jooodeerrr!
Questioning
Who the f*ck are you? - ¿Quién coño/carajo/cojones eres?
What the f*ck do you want? - ¿Qué coño quieres?
Where the fuck are you? ¿Dónde coño estás?
Bad situations
We’re f*cked! - ¡Estamos jodidos/as!
We f*cked up - La cagamos
F*ck! - ¡Joder! or ¡Mierda!
It’s really f*cked up - Es una puta mierda
F*ck my life - Puta mierda de vida
Orders
Quit f*cking around and wasting time - Deja de joder la marrana or Deja de hacer el gilipollas
¡Don’t f*ck with me! - ¡No me toques los cojones!
Sex
¿Shall we f*ck? - ¿Follamos?
Fancy a f*ck? ¿Quieres echar un polvo?
Emphasis
He talks too f*cking much - Habla jodidamente demasiado
She’s f*cking beautiful - Es jodidamente hermosa
A f*cktonne of gente - Un puto huevo de gente
Tired as f*ck - Cansado de la hostia or Cansado de cojones
It’s f*cking great - Es la puta hostia
Celebration
You’re the f*cking man - Eres el puto amo
F*ck yeah! - ¡Sí, joder!
We f*cking won! - ¡Hemos ganado, joder!
It's f*cking great! - ¡Es la puta hostia!
Insults
What an absolute f*cker - ¡Qué cabrón! or ¡Qué hijoputa!
What’s up, motherf*cker? - ¡Qué pasa, hijoputa!
John is a f*ckwit - John es un puto imbécil
F*cking idiot - Puto/a idiota or Jodido/a idiota
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