FOR MEMBERS

Wet the doughnut: Ten hilarious Spanish expressions to refer to sex 

Wet the doughnut: Ten hilarious Spanish expressions to refer to sex 
Expect to hear plenty of Spanish sex innuendos in the 1992 semi-erotic drama film 'Jamón, Jamón', starring a young Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz (left). Photo: Lola Films
When it comes to matters of a sexual nature, the Spanish language is every bit as creative as you’d imagine.

While rustic themes get a surprising amount of coverage — trip to the vegetable garden, anyone? — some of these Spanish phrases for hanky panky are downright weird.

TO KICK UP DUST: ECHAR UN POLVO

If you want to get down and dirty with someone, then it could well be time to ‘echar un polvo’, or have a good old-fashioned shag as Austin Powers would say. Saddle up folks.

Photo: Andrew Foster/Pexels

TO GO ON THE ICE CREAM CONE DIET: LA DIETA DEL CUCURUCHO

 ‘La dieta del cucurucho’, as it is called in Spanish, is usually followed by the words ‘comer poco, follar mucho’ (Eat little, have plenty of sex). Whether eating wafer biscuits while engaging in tantric sex is scientifically proven to help weight loss we don’t know, but this funny rhyming expression is used a lot by Spaniards when joking about an effective way of dieting.

Photo: Steve Buissinne/Pixabay

TO THROW THE JUNK AT SOMEONE: TIRARLE LOS TRASTOS A ALGUIEN

It might sound a tad aggressive but ‘tirar los trastos a alguien’ actually means to flirt with someone in colloquial Spanish. Where the reference to chucking old furniture at someone you like comes from, we don’t know.

Photo: Noam Galai/Getty Images for WarnerMedia Company/AFP

TO SHOW SOMEONE WHERE CUENCA IS: PONER A ALGUIEN MIRANDO A CUENCA

This quintessentially Spanish expression refers to having sex with someone ‘doggy style’. Some sources say King Philip The Handsome of Spain (1478-1506) had an observatory built for him to look out at cities surrounding Madrid on the horizon. It also doubled up as a love nest where he could keep his affairs hidden away from his wife Juana The Mad. As he escorted one young lady up the tower, he reportedly told guards “la voy a poner mirando a Cuenca”.

Others disregard this claim and say instead that the ‘mirando a Cuenca’ expression has its origins in the Spanish city’s Muslim past, and how those praying to Mecca (on their knees) in Madrid would position their bodies to the east, looking towards Cuenca. 

Photo: José Jordan/AFP

TO WET THE DOUGHNUT: MOJAR EL CHURRO

Yes, churros: those long, thick doughnut sticks Spaniards and foreigners alike love to dunk in chocolate and put in their mouths. Like most stick-shaped food, churros are euphemistically used to describe a man’s Johnson.  ‘Mojar el churro’ means to have sex.

Photo: Sami Keinänen/Flickr

TO TAKE SOMEONE TO THE VEGETABLE GARDEN: LLEVAR A ALGUIEN AL HUERTO

It may sound similar to taking a roll in the hay as the saying goes, but ‘llevar a alguien al huerto’ more specifically means to convince someone to have sex with you. 

Photo: Candid Shots/Pixabay

TO MAKE ONESELF A STRAW : HACERSE UNA PAJA

Despite what you might think, ‘hacerse una paja’ doesn’t have anything to do with building a straw house. Instead this is one of the most common slang expressions for masturbation.

Photo: Vlad Chețan/Pexels

TO RUB THE SPRING ONION: FROTAR LA CEBOLLETA

No brownie points for guessing what the veg is meant to represent. ‘Frotar (or) arrimar la cebolleta’ is an expression used to describe close physical contact between two people, kind of like dry humping.

Photo: Iakovos Hatzistavrou / AFP

TO CHUCK A HELMET: ECHAR UN CASQUETE

A variant of ‘to kick up dust’, to ‘echar un casquete’ means something along the lines of having a quickie. Suffice to say it’s not the most romantic expression for sex ever, in Spanish or in any other language. 

Photo: István Péter Kis/Pixabay

TO PLAY THE ‘ZAMBOMBA’ DRUM: DARLE A LA ZAMBOMBA

Once you witness someone playing this bizarre friction drum that’s used a lot in local festivals and at Christmas in Spain, it isn’t hard to understand why some people use is as expression for the act of self-pleasuring.

.


Member comments

Become a Member to leave a comment.Or login here.