These are the 17 worst things about living in Spain: (WARNING: This article is laden with sarcasm).
1. The Zenlike challenge that is bureaucracy (not too sarcastic here). It should be treated as such because otherwise you might just go on a “spree”.
2. Having to put up with all of these holidays. You just cannot get into the groove of working here because there are too many opportunities to have barbecues with friends, go out for something to eat and stay out late because there is no work tomorrow.
3. That you may have to enjoy the rain because it might be the last time that you see it for quite a long time. I want to be able to complain about the weather. It’s not fair.
4. Having too much fruit and veg in your garden at various times of the year when you get a windfall. Oranges, plums, apples or whatever you are growing because things grow so easily here. Make it a challenge mother nature please.
5. Having to put up with children and families in restaurants because they are allowed in and welcomed with open arms. It’s really annoying when it should be more like a Catholic Mass with whispering and reverence for the food and having to put up with disapproving looks when you make a sound over 5 decibels.
6. Having to put up with people coming and visiting and absolutely loving it and envying you for a living in Spain. Why can’t they just leave us alone in our misery as described every day in the Daily Mail?
7. Not being able to spend enough on a bottle of wine to impress people when you visit their houses. They always know it only cost you a few euros for whatever you bring round.
8. Not getting the opportunity to buy loads of coats, raincoats, umbrellas and hats to keep out the cold and wet. Please climate, come on, give us a chance of being fashionable with rainwear.
9. Not being able to get awful food in fast food stores everywhere and having to put up with that home-cooked rubbish that takes forever to cook that they do in the majority of bars and restaurants when you want a menu of the day. Can they just not do quick tasteless food?
10. Getting woken up every day by bells from a church or fireworks as another pointless Catholic Fiesta goes ahead in your neighbourhood. We want peace and quiet, not happiness and celebrations!
An Easter procession in Palma de Mallorca. Photo: AFP
11. Having to put up with those endlessly long straight motorways with no other traffic on them and driving your car through cities with little congestion. We want road rage please. It’s what keeps us edgy and alive.
12: Having to put up with coffee that isn’t from Starbucks or Costa Coffee and only costs between €1 and €1.50. When will the Spanish learn they can make much more money by overcharging for a huge polystyrene cup of froth and sugar rather than sticking to actual coffee?
13: Cities are just too small. There is no huge sprawling city like Mexico DF, Shanghai or Calcutta where you can get lost. This in turn means that you are never far from nature. Nature, yuck! We have spent years trying to get away from it in the rest of the world with sprawling cities and now we have to be near to it again.
14: You have to start drinking later because the pubs open much too late and where is the 11 o’clock bell meaning you have to leave so you can get ready for work the next day? They just carry on forever… and they do lock-ins!
Photo: James Pallinsad/Flickr
15: And speaking of alcohol why is it so cheap here for Pete’s sake. You would think they wanted us to get drunk every now and again or something.
16: The roast chicken shops. Why should we have to put up with the gorgeous delicious smell of roast chicken as we walk down the street in every Spanish town? Thoughtless for foreign vegetarians… (There aren’t any Spanish vegetarians, are there?)
17: Having to put up with your family. In other countries we don’t have to put up with our family why should it be so in Spain? Family picnics, family days out, family reunions and more. We want more solitude.
So what would you add? What are more of the worst things about living in Spain? Leave your comment below or join the discussion on The Local Spain's Facebook page.